Return of the drink

JJ went out with Lou & Eleanor last night, drinking for 5-6 hours...then he drove home. When he got here he was slurring...so it seems to me he was way too drunk to drive 40 minutes. They had a former student with them at the bar, someone who graduated 5 years ago. It seems like a bad idea. If the student posted it on Facebook...just seems like a bad idea.

JJ has two magnum bottles of sake here too. He finished one already in two days, I think. 

Lost Peanut

I lost James for a few minutes at the Play Place today. He wandered over to the puppet show while I was lifting Merryn up, so when I turned around, he was gone. I was trying to stay calm, but started to panic. It was terrifying. I asked at the front desk and they quickly found him. Sometimes I feel I have sort of a PTSD condition, so afraid of losing them somehow. It was humiliating too--how could I lose my own child?!

Documenting lies

Counseling 1/8/2016:

"She called me an asshole in front of our daughter [during the conversation about him leaving for New Years without saying goodbye]"

I absolutely did not. It's something I have always avoided saying, but since the talk of "parental alienation" I have meticulously avoided language like that. Also, I wasn't angry and vulnerable then, just talking.

"I told her I wanted her to come for New Years. I told her my dad wanted to see her. I told her my sister wanted to see her. But she said, 'I will not go.' I asked her again, but she still said, I WILL NOT GO!'" 

Richard: "what would you have done if the situation were reversed?" 

JJ: "I would have gone."

First, he did not tell me that he wanted me to go, or that his dad or sister wanted to see me. Instead, he merely twice said, "are you coming?" Second, he hardly ever goes to VA with me, and no chance would he go if there had been conflict.

2016 goals, needs...not resolutions

1. Sleep. How not to be an insomniac.

2. Avoiding depression.

3. Money.

4. Strength. Courage.

5. Focus.

6. Communication. Support. Giving appreciation.