Most Important goals, Day 3

I did not do a great job working on these goals every day this week, but I’m glad to have had the opportunity to flesh these out. After this week, I’m going to name these as my most important goals:

1. Get my masters + 30

2. Save $10,000

3. Aim for authentic speech and communication in every sphere in my life

Most Important Goals, Day 2

Goals, round 2:

2/13/18

1. $10,000 in bank by 12/31/18

2. Get Masters + 30

3. Get classroom cleaned up

4. Help Merryn & James learn and love to read

5. Feel loved and desired

6. Get a massage

7. Run a 10K

8. Run another half marathon 

9. Paint hallway

10. Clean my office

Most Important Goals

This week I am supposed to write a list of goals for the year and then gradually narrow them down to just one.

1. Save $10,000

2. Get my weight down to 140 and maintain it

3. Remember what it feels like to be loved and desired

4. Finish my book 1491

5. Run a 10K this spring

6. Get my masters + 30

Appreciations Day 7

I appreciate people who show kindness. There’s a lot more of it out there than people think. I hope I am or will be one of them. I appreciate the lady near the Canadian border who gave away hats, coats, and gloves to immigrants leaving the country because they needed something. 

I appreciate myself because I try to know and tell the truth. I try to keep learning always. I try to treat my students with the warmth and respect I would like to receive. 

Appreciations Day 6

I appreciate my parents and siblings for showing me at all times what love is. Even if we can’t often talk with each other or be together. That love is supportive and kind, that it can show emotion, that love can laugh, that love never betrays. I appreciate my old friends—Missy, who just lost her dad. Catherine. The wonderful Catherine. Sonja and Nichole. Alicia. Many more. How blessed I am. I appreciate the Dreamers and all African Americans, who despite facing the ugliest parts of humanity their entire time here, have survived with dignity and  have thrived with grace. If we could follow their lead maybe our country will be great. I appreciate Merryn & James’s teachers. 

I appreciate about myself that I am taking classes this year at Westchester Community College. 20th Century US History in the fall and Nutrition this spring. Both very enjoyable and they are expanding my mind and my thinking. And forcing me to rediscover student skills I have long forgotten. 

Appreciations Day 1

I am supposed to write an appreciation for another person, followed by an appreciation for myself each day.

Saturday, Feb. 3

I appreciate Juan Carlos Perez for speaking out and telling his story. I appreciate all those who speak up in defense of others, especially in defense of others who are not as fortunate and privileged as we are, and of the truth. 

 

I appreciate that I am starting to find my own voice as well. 

Appreciations Day 5

I appreciate Nancy Pelosi for speaking for 8 hours in defense of Dreamers. She’s 77 years old and this was the longest speech on the floor of the House in history. I appreciate the Black Lives Matter activist whose name I need to look up and add here, because people should know his name, who jumped through police tape to grab a confederate flag out of some idiot’s hands. This guy, the activist, was murdered today. He mattered. His actions mattered. His life mattered. Black lives matter. 

I appreciate JJ for staying home with the kids and having Julia and Lucy come over most of the day as well. Today was a snow day in Tarrytown schools and it was his turn. He was typically grumpy about it being his turn this morning but he did do it for both our kids and the Steinbergs. 

I appreciate myself for trying to think of solutions to problems. For being kind of tenacious about that. For wishing I had the power to take care of people. And maybe for still feeling offended and angry about how awful people can be to each other for no reason. I don’t want to be either cynical or naive. I’d like to still be offended by things that are offensive, better that than ignore it, enable it. 

Winner, winner chicken dinner

Tonight I was at work late. Really late, actually. I took a 6:22 train. We had a really intense meeting at school that left me really frustrated and upset. Anyway. It wasn’t great to come home so late but...it happens. Anyway when I texted JJ that I was on that train, he responded, “you have a family at home. When you got out the chicken you indicated you were cooking tonight.” As if I didn’t know I have a family. As if he couldn’t cook the chicken or make something else or show any interest in me and when I was coming home earlier than 6:30 pm and he wants his chicken dinner. As if I didn’t pick up the kids, cook, set the table, clean up after dinner, unload the dishwasher, do some laundry, and put Merryn to bed last night while he sat watching his I-pad game. 

Appreciations Day 4

I am frustrated and upset so it’s hard to think about this.

I appreciate this challenge, and Matt for getting me to do it. I appreciate that we need to write appreciations because that puts my mind at ease. I appreciate my students, who are beautiful, whole, complex people who deserve love. 

I appreciate about myself...hmm. I was trying to express some frustration at work and it wasn’t working. The people I was talking to were defensive and didn’t understand. I don’t know, I still feel strongly that the point I wanted to make came from a place of wanting what is in the students’ best interest. I don’t want students who are not at internship to have their time wasted. Anyway, I guess I appreciate about myself that I was, in fact, trying to advocate for them. I also appreciate in a way that even though I feel pretty lonely a lot of the time I am trying to keep my head up and carry on. 

Appreciations Day 3

I appreciate my colleagues for caring so much about our students and for being so smart and dedicated. I also appreciate our willingness to help each other out, to cover each other’s classes if we’re running late, bring copies, etc.

I appreciate myself for doing this challenge and for sticking with it so far. I enjoyed cooking dinner and eating well last night. I resisted eating candy at our staff meeting. I am surprised to find I have the discipline to do it.

Appreciations Day 2

Sunday, Feb. 4

I appreciate my amazing kids Merryn and James. For their sweet innocence, for still waving to me as they run around at Play Place. For a fun afternoon of playing, then getting ice cream at Lighthouse and eating it by the fireplace there. For making everything fun, even going to the drive through bank or taking a bath. For their hilarious wrestling match tonight before bed: “Eagles” vs. “Yankees” (aka Patriots) (named for the “football” (baseball? Yankees???) teams playing in the Super Bowl right now. James wearing only pants and socks on his hands. Merryn wearing only a sparkly red shirt and underwear. 

I appreciate myself for trying to do my best as a mom. And trying to give my kids some of my time without being distracted by my phone or work. Also trying to help them be healthy and happy. Finally I appreciate that this morning I was disciplined and focused and did a lot of grading. I can’t always focus like that, but today I did.