Bubble burst

I took the kids for ice cream this evening. I wanted to get out of the house, and enjoy these last days of summer...

We got home @ 8:15. I brought the kids upstairs to start getting them ready for bad. JJ was watching TV. He seems to think that bedtime is not his job, until the final moment when he comes to lie down with James. So, I got their teeth brushed and then James ran downstairs to get Daddy. When they came up, I told JJ that James still needed his diaper changed. For some reason, James got really upset while JJ was changing him, and started crying for me. He ran out of the room to me and I picked him up. I was telling him,  "go snuggle with Daddy like you usually do." He kept crying and clinging to me. I tried to hand him off to JJ, but he wouldn't go to him yet. So then I said, "well, maybe tonight Daddy could read Merryn her story, and I could put you to bed." JJ rolled his eyes; definitely did NOT want to read Merryn a story. I was still trying to calm James down so I could hand him back to JJ, when JJ snapped at me, "well, you're just standing there! Do something!" I said, "what? You're blaming me?" He stormed back downstairs. I said, "wait, JJ, I need your help putting the kids to bed; I can't do it alone." He was already back in front if the TV. I thought for a moment how I was going to get both kids down by myself. Then I kind of snapped.

I went downstairs. I said, "JJ, go back up, and put one of our kids in bed. You don't get to sit here relaxing in front of the TV while I'm struggling alone up there. This is both our job."

He said, "you took them out for ice cream and you were late coming back. You can't tell time."

I said, "that doesn't matter! I still need your help. These are OUR kids, and it is OUR shared job to put them to bed. You don't get to run away when the going gets slightly tough. It's not optional for you but required for me. You don't get to pick and choose when you feel like being a parent and when you don't."

I tried to grab the remote from him, and he said, "don't touch me." We got into a tug of war, I shoved him, twice I guess. He did a dismissive little wave like I was his servant and said, "stop talking." I said, "no! you are so disrespectful, and you're the laziest person I have ever met." He said, "go! Go somewhere else. I will take care of them." I screamed at him, "I DON'T WANT TO GO SOMEWHERE! I WANT TO PUT THE KIDS TO BED AND I NEED YOUR HELP!" I told him I can't stand him. 

By then James had come into the room and was calmer. JJ finally got up and picked him up and took him to bed.