November goals 10/30-11/5

10/30 (Su)

Exercise: 4.0 miles, OCA trail

10/31 (M)

Weigh in: 139 lbs

Exercise: 3.0 miles, down Broadway & back

Food: oatmeal w honey; coffee & cream

11/2 (W)

Exercise: @2.7 miles, Bway & back

October goals 10/16-10/22

10/16 (Su):

Exercise: @6.0 miles, Toms River

Food: oatmeal w honey, coffee w milk, banana; scrambled eggs, bacon, toast w jelly; apricot chicken leftovers; rotisserie chicken, small portion mashed potatoes, broccoli, corn; candy (M&Ms, candy corn)

Spending: $117, check, medical bill 

10/17 (M):

Weigh in: 138 lbs

Exercise: none

Food: 

Spending: $61, Discover, Rite Aid, face cream, kids' lotion, children's Tylenol, binders, gum

10/18 (T):

Exercise: 3.0 miles, Broadway to Tappan & return

Food: Cheerios & milk, banana, coffee & cream; 

Spending:

Merryn's arm

From 10/12/2016: We had the day off from school today for Yom Kippur. Merryn broke her arm after falling while on a walk with her friends at Mascia. I picked her up and spent the whole day at the emergency room. 

It's sometimes hard for me on a day like that not to hear JJ's voice in my head, saying, as he actually did two years ago when he felt he shouldn't have to take a day off to stay at home with a kid with the flu, "I have never seen a mother who cares so little for her sick child." And feel that bitterness and sadness welling up.

October goals 10/11-10/15

10/11 (T):

Weigh in: 139 lbs

Exercise: none

Food: oatmeal w honey, coffee w cream; chicken & vegetables, 2 oranges; walnut pieces; bowl of chili, little bit of spaghetti, Corona; chocolate; scoops of candy

Spending: $12, cash, parking @ TTown station; $2.49, cash, GCT, gum

10/12 (W):

Exercise: none

Food: oatmeal with honey & raisins; coffee & cream; bites of English muffin; chocolate; apple; chicken, vegetables, steak

Spending: $15, Discover, Briarcliff Pediatrics, checking Merryn's arm; &50, Discover, Phelps, x-Ray 

10/13 (Th):

Exercise: 3.0 miles, treadmill

Food:

Spending:

 

10/14 (F):

Exercise: 2.0 miles, Main St. & return, 5:00 am

Food:

Spending:

10/15 (S):

Exercise: 2.0 miles, treadmill

Food:

Spending: $21, Dis, NJ transit; $6, cash, CD from man on street; $8, Disc, Roti Roll Mama India; $7, Disc, Dean & Deluca, coffee w Catherine

Passive Aggressive Holiday Planning

2011-present: constant unresolved conflict about holidays. 

Summer 2016: Roberts family reunion. Lots of ideas discussed about holidays. JJ present for all conversations. Never speaks.

10/6/2016: I text JJ "what are your thoughts on Thankinsgiving? Are you up for Alexandria this year? I would love to run the a Turkey Trot. Emily is coming."

No response.

10/7/2016: we're watching TV w kids. 

Me: what are you thinking about Thanksgiving this year?

JJ: I don't know. 

Me: are you up for going to Alexandria?

JJ: I don't know.

Me: Did you have another idea?

JJ: I don't know.

Me: I think it would be fun to run the Turkey Trot.

JJ: Maybe.

Me: What if we alternate each year? So, Alexandria this year, then next year we host here at home, or we go to Toms River? We could try to set a pattern like that.

JJ: Maybe.

Me: what is your family doing in Toms River this year? Is there a Thanksgivibg tradition?

JJ: No. I don't know.

Me: My sister will come for Thanksgiving this year. They have a pattern like that--Alexandria one year, Matt's family the next year. So I was thinking we could try the same...

JJ: maybe.

In my experience with JJ, "maybe" and "I don't know" will later, at the most inopportune time, like the day before the trip, become "I never said yes! You never consider what I want to do! I tell you I don't want to go and then you just do it anyway." This makes planning this extremely stressful. 

October goals

1. Run Sleepy Hollow 10k

2. 2-3 morning runs a week

3. Continue tracking exercise, food, spending

4. Finish California closet

5. Finish Meeryn's room

October goals 10/2-10/8

10/2 (Su):

Exercise: 13.1 miles, Grete's Gallop, Central Park

Food: oatmeal, English muffin, coffee w cream; a few candy corn; apple; croissant, two pieces of bread w jelly; orange juice

Spending: $6, Discover, MTA, 2 single rides; $23.50, Discover, Le Pain Quotidian, brunch (w Josef)

10/3 (M):

Weigh in: 140

Exercise: none

Food:

Spending: $20, cash, Dominique Nerestan; $45, $10 rewards card + $35 Discover card, CVS, almonds, hair dye, hair gel, kids' Mucinex, tissues, gum; $58, BoA card, Carter's, 6 pairs of pants for kids; $200, check, dad, car payment #2; $3.67, check, Quest Diagnostics, Merryn lab test;

10/4 (T):

Exercise: none

Food: oatmeal, coffee; almonds, apple; zucchini & sausage soup, green salad, leftover ear of corn; pork w coconut, green salad, carrots, apple

Spending: $31, discover, cvs, BC pills; $6, discover, cvs, picture frame; $12.04, discover, usps, stamps & package to Heorgia 

10/5 (W):

Exercise:

Food:

Spending:

10/6 (Th):

Exercise:

Food:

Spending:

10/7 (F):

Exercise:

Food:

Spending:

10/8 (S):

Exercise:

Food:

Spending: