Summer goals 8/29-9/4

8/29 (M):

Exercise: 2.5 miles, Seaside Heights boardwalk

Food: Cheerios w milk, banana, coffee w cream; almonds, apple, water; pizza, orange soda, fries; burger w cheese & bun, macaroni salad, potato salad, corn, Corona

Spending: $6, cash, Casino pier, carousel ride for kids & Danica

8/30 (T):

Exercise: none

Food: steel cut oatmeal w honey, coffee w cream; almonds; 2 bowls of chili; 2 squares dark chocolate; chicken curry w small portion of rice, zucchini; corona 

Spending: $920, online payment, Discover

8/31 (W):

Exercise: 4.0 miles on OCA trail, felt great

Food: Cheerios & milk, coffee & cream; steak salad at Horseman, water; apple, almonds 

Spending: $24 (incl. tip) cash, Golden's Nail & Spa, pedicure; $32, debit, Horseman, lunch w kids; $4.50, cash, Play Place, snacks; $5.14 + $40 cash back, debit, CVS, gum; $5.99 + $10 cash back, debit, CVS, almonds; $300, Discover, MTA, Sept. Train pass; $124, debit, Geico; $138, debit, Nelnet; $169, debit, BoA

9/1 (Th):

Exercise: none

Food: oatmeal w raisins & cinnamon, coffee w cream; banana, orange; chicken curry, apple; salmon w veggies, side salad (Doyle's); 2 Coronas

Spending: $7.36, Discover, Dishes GCT, oatmeal & coffee; $40, prepaid transit, subway, metro card

9/2 (F):

Exercise: 3.0 miles, OCA trail, felt great!

Food: oatmeal w honey; coffee w cream; fruit salad, 1/4 whole wheat bagel w cream cheese; bowl of chili; orange; 2 buffalo wings, 5-6 tortilla chips w nacho toppings, one Dos Equis; pork tenderloin, kale chips, corn

Spending: $40, Discover, Transit Museum store, gift for Arlo

9/3 (S):

Exercise: none

Food:

Spending: $18, Discover, Grape Expectations, wine for Maryam's party

9/4 (Su): birthday! 

Spending: $10, Discover, Cornucopia ticket for Merryn; $30, Discover, Cornucopia, food

Today

I couldn't sleep last night and felt bad this am. But I got a run in and felt good. I definitely have turned a corner with running, where it feels like a habit now. Took James to soccer class. Afterwards we looked out the window at trucks outside for awhile. Then we ran around kicking balls on the soccer field. And he played a little on the slides, etc. He was very shy during the class, but active when it was just the two of us. When we got home, JJ for the first time ever took the kids to the park while I stayed home. I had a little under an hour home alone, time to eat lunch and take a tiny nap. Later I took them to the library. Merryn played with the doll house the entire time. James and I read some train books. He fell asleep on the way home, poor kid.

Time goals

Event/time: Soccer class w James, 8/24/16, 12:15 pm

Left house/started car: 11:55

Arrived: 12:10

Notes: had time to get snack & shoes on 

Event/time: Drop off car for inspection, 8/25/16, 9:00 am

Left house/started car: @8:10? (To drop kids off first)

Arrived: 8:50

Notes:

Event/time: appt w Dominique Nerestan, 8/26/16, 4:00

Left house/started car: 3:25

Arrived: 4:01

Notes: JJ drove south on 87 instead of east on 287, so we had to turn around

Event/time: soccer class, 12:15, 8/31

Left house/started car: car 12:07

Arrived: 12:18

Notes: late...ran, showered, started getting kids dressed at 11:40, too late

Event/time: Merryn kindergarten orientation, 5:00, 8/31

Left house/started car: 4:30 (house)

Arrived: 4:42

Notes: whole family; Merryn excited; we were coming back from library & already had shoes, etc.

Event/time: train to work :-( 7:22 am, 9/1/2016

Left house/started car: 7:05??

Arrived: 7:16 parked car

Notes: overslept! Woke up at 6:39. Made the train though.

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Good mommy

We (kids & I) were at the pool on Sunday. We were eating lunch, a picnic I had brought. Everyone was mellow and we lapsed into silence. Then out of the blue, James said, "You a good mommy." Merryn agreed. "Yeah! You're a good mommy." Then they pause. Then, "Daddy thinks you a bad mommy." I said. "What makes you say that?" Merryn said, "well, he's not here to say you're a good mommy." I said, "Oh." They said again, "Daddy thinks you a bad mommy. But you a good mommy." I said, "oh thank you, that makes me feel so good. That's the only thing that matters."

Summer goals 8/22-8/28

8/22 (M):

Weigh in: 144

Exercise: boot camp class at CrossFit (Ossining w Oanh)

Food: oatmeal & coffee w cream (McDonalds); sausage & egg McMuffin; burger & hot dog (no bun), zucchini, gazpacho, carrots & hummus; corona, 2 slices cheddar cheese

Spending: $3.21, Discover card, McDonalds, oatmeal & coffee; $3.21, cash, McDonalds, sausage & egg McMuffin; $244, Discover, DMV, car title; $80, Discover, DMV, renew license; $35.22 + $40 cash back, debit card, CVS, contact solution, brush, hair dye; $6.85 + $40 cash back, debit card, CVS, 2 padded envelopes

8/23 (T):

Exercise: none

Food: oatmeal w honey, coffee w cream; almonds; leftover Korean hangar steak & rice; carrots, hummus; apple; baked chicken, zucchini, corn; berry, PB, milk smoothie; small package of Swedish fish (3-4)

Spending: $12.10, Discover card, USPS, send license plates back to VA, send toys back to David & Lorraine; $15, check, Paula Heller

8/24 (W):

Exercise: 3.0 miles, OCA trail, felt pretty good despite little sleep

Food: oatmeal w honey; coffee w cream; almonds; apple; tuna salad w mayo, carrots, hummus; burger (no bun), ear of corn, zucchini; Corona; 1 square 85% dark chocolate

Spending: $3, cash, Play Place, snacks

8/25 (Th):

Exercise: none

Food: oatmeal w honey, coffee w cream; chicken (baked), celery w hummus, cole slaw, apple; 3 pieces Horseman pizza, Corona

Spending: $340, Discover card, CARS., inspection of Volvo, repair valve, light; $13.91, Discover, Horseman, pizza

8/26 (F):

Exercise: none

Food: Cheerios w milk, coffee w cream, orange; tuna salad, celery, gazpacho; bowl of chili, Corona

Spending: $16, grocery store; $15, cash, Dominique Nerestan

8/27 (S):

Exercise: 1.0 mile walk, OCA trail

Food: steel-cut oatmeal w honey, coffee w cream, walnut pieces, two apples, carrots, slices of deli turkey, piece of cheese, margarita (frozen), chicken schnitzel, pesto pasta, lettuce salad w tomato, Corona

Spending: $16.56 + $25 cash back, debit, CTown, snacks for car trip to TR; $12.48, Discover, Sears, bathing suits for JJ; $47, Discover, American Greetings, mugs & gift bag, card for JJ; $23.52, Discover, Buy Rite, wine for JJ 

8/28 (Su):

Exercise: 8.1 miles, Toms River, OCC campus trails and roads 

Food: oatmeal w honey, coffee w cream, 2 bananas, finished James' Cheerios, almonds, apple, deli turkey slices, one slice cheese, celery; 1.5 burgers (no bun), macaroni salad, potato salad, 2 beers, ice cream cake slice 

Spending: $4, cash, car & truck "rides" at Ocean County mall

Summer goals 8/15-8/21

8/15 (M):

Exercise: 2.0 miles walking, Braddock Rd. station to home

Food: banana, oatmeal w blueberries, coffee w cream; watermelon, blueberries; jambalaya; rice/chicken/mushroom salad; watermelon; one quarter of a grilled cheese sandwich; piece of cheddar cheese, pieces of mozzarella cheese, apple, pieces of baked chicken, pecan halves; 3 Lindor chocolate balls, 2 Coronas; 2 hot dogs (no buns), green salad, zucchini, lentils, a few potato chips

Spending: $6.50, cash, Walgreens, tampons; $55, Discover card, Yates Auto, car wash; $11, cash, Yates, tips

8/16 (T):

Exercise: 3.0 miles, OCA trail

Food: oatmeal w blueberries, banana, coffee w cream; pecans & walnuts; (Burger King) lettuce salad w fried chicken; carrots; chili, ear of corn, green beans, kale chips, grapes; 2 squares dark chocolate

Spending: $2400, check, dad, car

8/17 (W):

Weigh in: 145 lbs.

Exercise: none (active day w kids though)

Food: oatmeal w blueberries, banana, coffee w cream; apple; garden salad, about a quarter of a rainbow bagel, fruit salad; pizza & one Corona

Spending: $2, cash, snacks at Play Place; $10, cash, pool; $13.91, Discover card, Horseman, pizza

8/18 (Th):

Exercise: 3.0 miles, treadmill, 28:15 mins

Food: oatmeal w blueberries, coffee w cream, banana; apple; hummus, chicken schwarma w rice, carrot salad, 1/2 piece pita bread; Starbucks very berry hibiscus refresher drink (tea?); big green salad w tuna salad on top; two squares dark chocolate

Spending: $10.50, prepaid transit, Metro North off peak ticket; $13.07, Discover, Mimi's hummus, lunch; $4.22, cash, Starbucks, refresher "tea"; $8.17, Discover, Bite, tuna salad; $10.50 + $27, prepaid transit, MNR tickets

8/19 (F):

Exercise: 3.0 miles, OCA trail

Food: oatmeal w raisins & cinnamon; coffee w cream; almonds; apple; spinach, arugula, tomato, chicken salad; almonds; (Little B's) burger (no bun), green salad, 2 Omission beers

Spending: $8, Discover card, Dishes GCT, breakfast; $87 ($73+tip) Discover card, Little B's, dinner

8/20 (S):

Exercise: 6.75 miles, OCA trail

Food: oatmeal w honey; coffee w cream; almonds; smoothie w berries, banana, peanut butter, milk; arugula, tomato, green beans & chicken salad; kale chips; roasted pork, sautéed spinach, zucchini, 1/2 ear of corn, arugula salad w tomatoes, Corona

Spending: $7, cash, Lighthouse, ice cream for kids; $3.50, cash, Lighthouse, cappuccino for JJ; $207, Discover card, Ticketmaster, tickets to gymnastics champions tour

8/21 (Su):

Exercise: 4.25 miles, OCA trail

Food: oatmeal w honey, coffee w cream; almonds, salad w chicken & blueberries, carrots & hummus, grapes (picnic at pool); Korean hangar steak, kimchi, rice, glass of red wine (Catherine's bday dinner); piece raspberry mousse & chocolate cake; piece of chocolate

Spending: $10+$30, cash, pool & swim lesson (Olivia); $86, Discover card, Spring Natural Kitchen, Catherine's bday dinner; $11, cash, Cafe Lalo, dessert

Parenting differences

JJ and I have been doing a bit better, so something that happened today felt jarringly bad. We were on our way to Alexandria for a weekend visit, and the trip was off to a good start. After several years of conflict over traveling there, with JJ not wanting to come on most trips there with me, he actually agreed to go without issue, and seemed into the idea. So all was well the first part of the trip. But then we stopped at Chesapeake House for lunch. It was pretty crowded and the lines were long. After taking the kids to the bathrooms, we met up by the lunch lines. JJ told me he had already ordered a pizza at Pizza Hut. I asked Merryn what she wanted and she said "chicken and fries." I waited in the KFC line and got her some chicken tenders. Then I got in the Wendy's line and got her fries and a salad for myself. Merryn was with me the whole time. When we got out of the line, Merryn said, "did you get me my burger?" I said, "no, you asked for chicken." She started crying and said, "I changed my mind! I wanted a burger!" I said, "you didn't say that. I didn't know that. Now we're out of the line." We went to sit down and she was carrying on about how she didn't want the chicken and she wouldn't eat it. She demanded that I go get her a burger. She  was demanding that I get her fries out of the fry box for her even though it was right in front of her. Lots of drama. I told her, "Merryn, I don't like this behavior. I don't like you screaming at me and demanding things from me. I bought you the chicken that you asked for so that's going to be your lunch today." She was having a full on melt-down, shouting at me, "Mommy, YOU ARE NOT NICE! Bad Mommy!" Meanwhile JJ was buying milk for James. As he came back to the table, Merryn said, "I am going to tell Daddy that you are not nice!" People at other tables were turning to look at us. When JJ came back, Merryn said, "Daddy, I wanted a hamburger and Mommy won't buy it!" JJ started to walk towards the Wendy's line. I said, "JJ, wait. I actually don't want you to go buy her the burger. She asked me for chicken, and now she is screaming at me about it. I want her to understand we already got her a nice lunch and paid money for it..." He was barely listening, then he dismissively said, "it's just a hamburger," and walked over to the Wendy's line. I felt I had just gotten hit with a sucker punch. I felt completely undermined in front of our kids. I was too mad to even talk. While he waited for the burger, which took more than 10 minutes, Merryn was still telling me that I was a bad Mommy the whole time. When JJ came back, I said, "you undermined me in front of our kids. I wanted Merryn to understand the value of a dollar and to understand she can't just cry and whine to get what she wants. Did you get to do that as a kid, just demand things from your parents until you got whatever you wanted? Her behavior was kind of bratty and I don't want that!" He said, "it's just a burger. You can eat the chicken." I said, "I don't want to eat the chicken! And it's not about the chicken or burger, it's about the message you just gave her, and the message you gave me. You just told her that if she doesn't get what she wants from me, she can just come to you. And you totally disregarded my opinion in front of our kids and disrespected me! What message do you think you just sent them, and me?" He started snickering at me like it was the stupidest thing he ever heard. I said,"you asshole." I was so mad I didn't even want to sit at the table with him. I took James for a walk outside. And now the test of the day has passed and we have barely spoken to each other.

Summer goals 8/8-8/14

8/8 (M):

Exercise: ran @4.0 miles, Toms River

Food: banana, oatmeal w honey, coffee w milk, a few grapes; celery & hummus, leftover Chinese food--chicken & broccoli; one quarter of a peanut butter & jelly sandwich; Corona; (at Water Street) green salad, salmon, peaches, sweet potato fries, glass of Chianti

Spending: $42, debit card, NYRR, Percy Sutton race

8/9 (T):

Exercise: 4.0 miles, Toms River 

Food: oatmeal w honey, coffee w milk, banana, hot dog w bun, one piece thin crust pizza; 3-4 pieces of pizza (Horseman); Mermaid pilsner

Spending: $40, cash, pool entry & swim lesson for Merryn; $15, check, Paula Heller

8/10 (W):

Weigh in: 146 lbs.

Exercise: 3.0 miles on OCA trail

Food: oatmeal w honey, coffee w cream, apple, a few grapes; apple; spinach, chicken, walnut, peppers salad; cream of turkey soup

Spending: $19.08, BoA card, gas station; $30, Discover card, Kidz Kutz, haircuts for M & J, $6, cash, tip; $2, cash, Play Place, socks for Merryn; $7, cash, Play Place, snacks; $40, cash, pool entry & swim lesson; $5, cash, pool, ice cream; $38.82, Discover card, Horseman, dinner (Amy & Merryn) & sandwich for JJ; $11, debit, Hillary campaign

8/11 (Th):

Exercise: track workout--1 mile warm-up,   2x800, 2x600, 2x400, 2x200, 3x100 moderate pace

Food: oatmeal w blueberries, coffee w cream, apple, water, leftover chicken salad from Horseman, green beans, carrots, 2 pieces of dark chocolate, Triscuits; pork tenderloin, salsa, corn, kale chips; Mermaid pilsner

Spending: $100, debit, purchase Roth IRA shares

8/12 (F):

Exercise: none

Food: oatmeal w honey; coffee w cream, banana; apple; bag of carrots; 1 saltine cracker; Wendy's chicken & berry salad, water; pieces of chicken; carrots; hamburger (no bun), riced cauliflower, broccoli, Gazpacho, melon, Corona; one Lindor chocolate

Spending: $6, KFC, chicken tenders; @$10, Wendy's, salad & fries

8/13 (S):

Exercise: 6.0 miles, treadmill, Alexandria YMCA, avg. pace 9:50

Food: oatmeal w blueberries; coffee w cream; banana; almonds, strawberries, salad nicoise, broccoli, carrots, apple; Afghan food plate (shared w kids & mom): samosa (veggie), flat bread w cauliflower(?), baked chicken; jambalaya w small portion of rice, Swiss chard w herbs, gazpacho, melon, red wine, blueberries, almond, one Lindor chocolate

Spending: &7.98, debit, Aldi grocery store, strawberries & almonds; $50, cash back, Aldi store; $12, cash, Sackler museum, Afghan food plate 

8/14 (Su):

Exercise: none

Food: oatmeal w blueberries, coffee w cream, almonds, melon, watermelon; apple, jambalaya, carrots; (at Nichole's) blue tortilla chips, guacamole; 2 tacos in corn tortillas w sweet potato & black bean, cabbage, shrimp, sour cream, guacamole, green beans; 2 beers; 5-6 chocolate coconut ball thingies, apple pieces, one Lindor ball

Spending: none

James the Giant

We are stuck in traffic heading to the Jersey Shore. James just said: "I wish I could be a giant and smash all this traffic!"

What happened at the grocery store?

JJ took the kids to Stop & Shop this morning. Merryn was grumpy about something as they drove off, and when they returned, it was James' turn. He was crying on the front path and would not come inside. When I saw JJ, I asked him how the trip had gone. He said, "could have been better." I said, "oh no, what did they do?" I asked the kids, "were you listening to Daddy?" I asked JJ, "were they running away from you? Did they have a meltdown?" He clammed up & said, "it was fine, nothing happened." I said, "what? Oh, I thought you said..." He said tersely, "It was fine. Nothing" I said, "I was just conversing..."

Later, I was looking in the fridge and realized he had hardly purchased any groceries, certainly not one thing from the list I had sent him. I went to him and said, "what happened with the groceries? You got berries and bananas and apples and that's it???!" He said, "they had meltdowns so we left." I said, "were they crying there? What happened? Were they not listening?" He really wasn't giving any info. It seemed weird because he had stuff from the fresh side and stuff from the bakery on the opposite side, which doesn't seem to fit with someone rushing out of the store in a meltdown crisis. I said, "Why didn't you just tell me that before?" He acted irritated and said, "I didn't want to talk about it." I said, "Why not? You were traumatized?" He said, again very irritated, "I didn't want to talk about it!" I said, "I don't get it. You couldn't tell your partner in parenting about a meltdown at the grocery store? Or instead of giving your vague, weird explanation before ('it was difficult! No it was fine!'), why not just tell me then that you didn't want to talk about it so I'm not feeling like you're acting kind of weird? I wasn't judging you, I just didn't understand what happened at the grocery store."

Actually what I felt in my gut was that JJ just didn't feel like buying the stuff on the list I had sent him. Because he has frequently balked when I've asked a favor of him. He doesn't like to be asked to do things, it seems. Like the previous day, I had asked if he would take a paper about our daycare benefit to the daycare when he was picking up the kids and ask someone to sign it, or leave it with the note I had already attached to it on the person's desk. He acted like that was somehow a major imposition. With the grocery, I had said, "JJ, I think we need groceries. Would you go soon?" I felt like he didn't like me asking him to go; instead, he wanted to go on his terms. So this grocery thing kind of felt like he was resentful that I'd requested that he do it, and I felt--I could be wrong--but I felt that he didn't get the stuff in the list to be kind of petty, and then sort vaguely blamed it on the kids. And then gave me this smoke and mirrors answer about meltdowns that he "didn't want to talk about." This might sound like a stretch on my part, but it's actually a pattern I've noticed...if I make a request for something, he seems offended by that, and sometimes just won't do it, or acts kind of passive aggressive in response. 

Summer goals 8/1-8/7

8/1 (M):

Weigh in: 146

Exercise: 3.0 miles on SHHS + warm up & cool down (running to and from track); on the track: 1 full mile, then 4x200 S/J, then 3x300 S/J

Food: oatmeal w honey, coffee w cream, grapes; steak, lettuce salad, mixed vegetables; apple; chicken curry, sautéed spinach, corn, kale chips, zucchini; chocolate; 1 Triscuit; small glass of red wine

Spending: $28, debit online, Alhassan's book; $10, cash, pool; $30, cash, swim lesson for Merryn

8/2 (T):

Exercise: none (rest)

Food: oatmeal w honey; leftover scrambled eggs & sausage; coffee w cream; berry, milk, peanut butter smoothie; baked chicken & leftover curry chicken; rice; mixed vegetables; apple; 5 Triscuits, piece of chocolate; Corona, chili, ear of corn, green beans, celery, piece of chocolate

Spending: none

8/3 (W):

Exercise: none

Food: oatmeal w honey, orange, coffee w cream, 2-3 Triscuits, chili, apple, sautéed chicken, mixed veggies, 2 squares of dark chocolate

Spending: $125, Discover card, Play Place, soccer class for James; $40, cash, pool entry fee and swim lesson for Merryn

8/4 (Th):

Exercise: ran/walked @ 3.0 miles w JJ on OCA trail (more walking than running)

Food: oatmeal w blueberries, banana, coffee w cream; walnuts, apples, baby carrots; bowl of chili, lettuce/arugula salad; big garden salad w some carrot/raisin salad & corn salad (from CTown salad bar); 2 Coronas

Spending: $67, Discover card, Stop & Shop, groceries

8/5 (F):

Exercise: 3.0 miles running on OCA trail, stopped to do circuit (see previous posts), 3 sets

Food: banana, oatmeal w honey, coffee w cream, half slice cheese, apple, almonds, water; thin crust pizza, some swigs of Orangina (w Maryam in Ocean Grove); caprese salad, a few tortilla chips, cheeseburger, Corona

Spending: $25.19, cash, pizza in Ocean Grove

8/6 (S):

Exercise: none

Food: oatmeal w honey, 2 bananas, coffee w milk, 2 slices cheese, apple; (Aunt Marie's party) a few potato chips, I slice of pita bread w hummus, green salad, pork, chicken (breaded), grapes, small portion pasta, glass of wine, 2 pieces birthday cake, Corona

Spending: $30, debit card, liquor store, Coronas & Mike's Hard Lemonade

8/7 (Su):

Exercise: none

Food: banana, oatmeal w honey, coffee w cream; 3-4 small tortilla chips, apples, celery, cheeseburger (no bun), hot dog (no bun), green salad w oil & vinegar, Corona w lime, half of a Cliff Bar, almonds, beans w bacon, green salad, celery w hummus, chips & salsa, Corona,  one marshmallow

Spending: none